Inferiority Complex

Friday: 13 November 2009, 8:35 PM.

NB: Please mind the brackets (and the nested ones as well (you may find this very unusual... (but who cares…))). I guess the date 13 will help me finish this...

I realized this or is just an apprehension (or am I sick with this??). I always wanted to write on some issues (and some pre-thought topics) but never completed. Things were initiated, but I never stumbled upon climax (not also accidentally). The result, I am left with a lot of incomplete *.docx files in “My Documents” of my CQ40. Don’t get distressed with the wildcard characters and the alphanumeric codes. I am into these, so can’t avoid using them.  Ignore them; they are just nothing (really??). Some titles (of the all incomplete ones) sounded Hi-Fi to me (not the technical High Fidelity) viz. “Fictitiously True”, “Dying Utterance – From the Death Bed”, “Smoking Heights” and “And The Likes” (do they really sound so?? Or the titles are just an acute result of my bogus literary narcissism).

I have started to jot down my complex in the drawing room with the idiot box flickering by the virtue of the electrons emerging from the CRT. (Its playing “Mr. And Mrs. Khiladi” in Star Gold, Kadar Khan just spoke – paise ko to pahiye hoten hai, kab kidhar ludhak jaaye kya pata... umm… forgot the exact verse) [thinking how to get to the point… (some couple of minutes..)] (Juhi Chawla slaps Gulshan Grover).  Sorry for too much use of brackets the big ones and the small ones, this is some kind of hangover of nested “if-else” in programming...

Come on, I am carried away from the point. The reason, you may think, “this guy is earning loads so must be busy or vice versa” (whatever!!). But this is not what the real problem (to my incomplete write up) is. In fact it is the “Inferiority Complex” within. (mera naam Shalu hai – Juhi Chawla, Raja – Akshay Kumar.. .hu hu hehehe.. the loving Juhi Chaula laughter) You thinking, what happened?? I just listen in some chitchat thing on the idiot box and that was it. My better half (she is my BEST HALF, saying “better” is about staying with the perplexing English for the sake of “THE ENGLISH” touch) came from the kitchen and had already changed the channel. Channel changed… Star Plus... channel changed... Colors… channel changed... **** channel changed… **** channel changed...****… Now I can’t narrate side by side. Forget it… Come to the point... my problem.

Actually of late I have been reading some books (short story, novel, philosophical ones) besides my regular technical skimming on the recent updates on IT. I started feeling my vocabulary was weakening to its heights. I have been indulged in reading a couple of blogs regularly as well. And to my extreme faithfulness in accepting the reality, here is the real crux of my problem (in addition to the lexis thing), the Inferiority Complex. These kids (or are they???) have such a level of creativity in them that when I think of their writing skills, I feel my fingers not moving above the 101 (let me count for sure…PAUSE), to be exact 86 beveled plastic units. I had started to compare with them, the ones who are incomparable. I guess the ONE whom the OTHER referred frequently (I knew from the OTHER’S comments on the posts of the ONE) as GURU (what philosophy or teaching he refers to by saying this, I can’t understand), was inspired writing in a BLOG by seeing mine, the one and only – INVOLUNTARILY UNCENSORED (or am I mistaken and seeding this complex in falsity). And the OTHER kid (oops!! DAKTAR saheb), who never justified his writing (I am talking about the layout formatting), and hit many return keys, was inspired by the ONE in starting his blog (I guess!!).

Its zee TV on the screen, with the frames of “Jhansi ki Rani”– Gangadhar Rao in the scene.

"I am going to serve, get ready!!" is what I hear. It was fish curry and rice (the home grown brand called Jetho Budo – “Senior and Old”, the literal translation). Let me have my dinner. I will continue later. Some updates (for the OS-Vista Home Premium) are installed, that I downloaded today. It’s requesting some restart. Ok then, will come back after these all proceedings... I will feel good to continue with a filled in tummy.

CTRL+S.

After I finished with my dinner (it was good), I returned to see my desktop of my laptop, with a balloon notification saying “Windows installed new updates. Your computer was restarted to finish installing updates. Click to see which updates were installed”. Silly it is. Isn’t it? Why notify me when I myself instructed it to update?? (Over smart computers not smart all the time). Forget it. Here I am (Bryan Adams also did something… on these phrases) with my file open and ready to continue. My BEST HALF had switched the room heater on (the water has already started unnerving in these time around the start of winter in Kathmandu and she did the kitchen chores tonight, which otherwise, except for Friday’s and Saturday’s is my task for the evening, as she has an evening duty, till 7.00 P.M. in her bank) and so was the channel to SONY. Dance Premiere League (DPL) on the frame. Guess they do it in 28 Frames per seconds these days... not much sure though… Wait!! These guys are doing good on Naina Thak Lengey - Prashant and Kartik - the brother duo, from Western Yoddha’s... Let me take a break…

Am back. I guess these breaks are the reasons of the Inferiority Complex which I have developed of late. The reason is the DAKTAR duo’s blog [. .]. Their write up which I never dare (PROVOKED!!) to miss reading, and that should not be the genuine reason. Whatever!! As I said earlier I repeat again. I had started comparing with their class, and never realized I have a class of my own (now this is called OVERCONFIDENCE).

But now on, I will start again, and will continue filling up my blog with silly writings as always in my past, and that too frequently. Will also start yet another blog, guess, with a title “SE Issues Unclassified” so that I can come up with the other class(not the OTHER) (want to earn some money with AD SENSE also). I will continue with my “Nothing Literary” in INVOLUNTARILY UNCENSORED. Wow more than 1000 words on the screen...  It seems I am back with my writing spree (or its fucking VERBOSE). Some time I guess it would have been better to post a picture which I clicked than writing about my Inferiority Complex (someone said: A picture speaks more than thousand words… is it?? Still not out of it, or what?? Or Nah...)

Hey guys (referring to THE DAKTAR’S) keep writing the bouncers, but no worries, I will read, re-read, will feed “define: the word” in Google, and re-re-read. You are my inspiration on how to continue a blog in one way or the other… I have started maintaining a DATA DICTIONARY (stumped!! This is something softy!!)

Its 9:27 PM now, and the channel has changed to Colors... and it’s Big Boss in the frames… Pravesh and Claudia in a conversation...

I turned to my right, saw my better half, oops!! BEST HALF, who is glued to the frames keenly (it is PAL in Asian countries isn’t it?? Or is it NTSC… I forgot… let it be what it is..,).

I smiled and prepared to save the file...

By the way, will post this only the coming Sunday (15 November 2009)...

After I have written so much, I am out of the said complex. No consolations required.

:-)

NB (again!!): The time zone I am in is +5:45 GMT and weekly holiday is SATURDAY in Nepal.